On Finishing

I just finished my Lollipop Sweet Scarf over the weekend.  It felt great to look at the sewn, finished and ready-to-rock scarf.

Which begs the question: why is it so hard for me to finish?

I have 3 different toys which are literally a hairs-breadth away from being done.  My cat toy is complete and stuffed, it just needs to be sewn together.

My latest happy pill just needs to stuffed, embroidered and sealed.

My "Petunia Porch Monster" needs one leg finished, stuffed and sewn together.

My first thought on this is that I'm afraid of finishing.  I get a little better at it every time I do it but there's something a little intimidating about finishing.  It's obviously much easier in toys because you can leave the stray seams and threads inside of the toy and no one will ever see them.  I actually had a finishing mess-up on Cassidy Clark's dragonfly:

Dragonflies

I sewed the body perfectly and easily completed the four wings.  I sewed one wing on - a little off but okay.  I sewed the second one on and it was totally awful.  It was in the wrong place and it wasn't in the plane of the first wing so it looked really off.  I did that one like months ago and I still haven't revisited it, even though all I need to do is to recreate one of the wings and sew them on.

Initially I believe my problem was that I was using a big plastic tapestry needle that was too bendy and imprecise for the rather delicate stitching I need to accomplish.  I solved this by purchasing several metal darning needles including a few that have a bent tip for those hard-to-reach spots.

So, all solved, all ready to go, and I still can't do it!

Maybe it's the deeper issue of how fun it is to start - casting on - the way that the pattern emerges as you create it - the wonder of discovering how a new yarn works in combination with a new needle...  Stick-to-itedness is something I've always been a little deficient in.

But isn't that one of the crazy things knitting does for you.  Much like meditation, it has a way of showing you where you are strong and weak.  If you pay attention and really get into the process you will notice all kinds of things about how you work as a person.  You also notice a lot about how your mind works, which is one of the goals if you ask me.

So, in the spirit of carrying on and letting go of the past I'm going to finish these patterns.  None of the new ones I'm working on are on a time schedule.  It's time to take the plunge and achieve some completion.  It's also about learning that there is fun in the journey and the end, not just the beginning.  If I could get that I'm certain it would be an awesome life lesson.